Wednesday, 1 September 2010

Mitr/My friend- Strange is the kind of friendship!

Is it really possible to be friends with someone whom you haven't actually met in person????Really???

When I was a kid, my parents used to encourage me to have pen friends. Friends whom you make, just communicating through letters and mails????? Yes! I used to think it was absurd. One of my uncles used to have a pen friend - he was in Sri Lanka and she was in India. They eventually met, but I was too young to understand the significance of it all.

As pen friends, we communicate our interests through our handwritten letters, interact by replying to each other's mails, if the other person loves to collect stamps or I loved to collect coins, then we both could exchange stamps and coins. I had many interests such as collecting stamps, coins and currencies, feathers of all kinds, stickers and what not. I had piled up loadsa junk and to this day, my mom would complain to me about all the junk I have accumulated in our little Chennai home. Wait till she sees the junk in Glasgow! Well, coming back to the topic, I had many interests and I always wished I had a pen friend or at least had the courage to make one! I convinced myself that it is not necessary or absolutely essential to have a pen friend to be happy, and that that way I don't have to part with any of my collection (I was very possessive about my junk those days!) and so I did not have a pen friend.

From pen friends, there came a time when there were chat friends. With pen friends, you atleast have an address and you could somehow make sure that the person really exists and that no one's playing the fool with the other. But chat friends??? Really??? No way! I have not been sure of the internet or on line friends right from the start. How can you be really sure the person actually is genuine?? There's no means to find that if you're friends with someone from a chat room. But nevertheless, I thought I should give it a try and I did. So first, I created an email address. Then like my other friends, I tried to go into a chat room that said, for friends. I freaked out! There were many perverts. People sent me random requests asking for asl???? What the hell was ASL??? Well, I learnt from a friend (Siva) it was Age, Sex and Location? So preferably for someone to carry on the conversation, you had to be above 17 (legally 18) and a female, the location didn't actually matter. I was spooked cos I wasn't 18. Jeez, I wasn't even 17 but there I was, sitting with my friend Shiva, in an internet cafe, trying to lie about my age. I was scared. Yet it didn't stop me then. I lied I was 18! but when guys sent me random dirty friend requests, I felt I had enough! That was the end of my chat sessions (well, it was my one and only random chat room experience). I did visit internet cafe's but never alone. It was spooky, it was as if , someone, could just jump at you from no where, or throw you out with "hey girl, you don't look 18!" So eventually my visits to the internet cafe stopped because I wasn't brave enough to go alone, or even attempt to chat with strangers. How else am I supposed to make new friends?
Well, I waited till I was 18. After my 12th, when I joined Diploma in IT, we bought my first and only ever Desktop computer. I loved it. I was 18! So yes, I did go on line often and only once did I to the chat room on MSN and Yahoo. I found a friend (ofcourse it was a guy, no girl wanted to add me or be friends with me and I was no exception). His name was Sujay Shah. He was my first and only complete stranger for a friend. He was the only sane person who didn't scare me off. To this day, we keep in touch and he's one of the persons' who I still haven't met. And its been nearly ten years now since I added him as my friend. He's been a constant support through out, like how it is in Mitr/My Friend (One of the best movies ever!).

Sometimes, talking to a stranger gives a new perspective to life. Over time, you tend to think less about yourself, and become obsessed about caring for your spouse or child more than anything else. Your spouse in the meanwhile does what he has always been doing, providing financial and moral support, your child eventually grows up and what do you have left? Nothing but a boring life, yearning for yourself to be young again, with regrets that you never did what you could have done when you had the learn that you have been drifting apart from yourself, losing out on all your interests. Yes, That was what the movie taught me: to not lose in touch with yourself and your interests and I wish my mother had understood this earlier. I partly feel responsible that she doesn't have a life of her own. She has always had to depend on my father and me. If not for us, she would have become a great artist and I tell her today too that its still not too late.

It was another phase of life for me after I was friends with Sujay. I was confident that not all strangers were bad guys and that there were some decent guys still around but well, I didn't bother to find them anyways. Through my best best best best friend Arunn, I found another friend for life: Karthik Narayanan (A.k.a. PRK). He does look like the race car driver too. Well, until today we have actually never met. We have spoken on the phone many times, but mostly it was always online chatting! I was more comfortable with him because he was also my best friend's buddy, so I know he was a genuine person and there's been no stopping us. Its been nice talking to him all these years. Our mutual interests I should say are Calvin and Hobbes, visiting places, making friends and chatting and oh Blogging! He reads a lot and So do I. So the things we talk about a lot are mostly about books and movies and ofcourse about Arunn! I know him to be a very caring friend to me, a loving son to his parents, a good brother to his bro. He had invited me for his brother's wedding, unfortunately I couldn't make it and so that was another opportunity lost for a meeting. He has always been there, when I'm tired after work and in need of some conversation, he'll be the one to ping me! He calls me the 'Wise Girl' these days... :) Thanks for being a part of my life! You do know how to cheer me up and hey, any girl reading this blog, he's an eligible bachelor! I know you'd murder me for writing this about you.

As I mentioned earlier, Mitr-My friend, is one of my favourite movies and it has taught me many a lessons, given me many good memories to cherish. For one thing, I don't want to end up losing myself completely for my spouse/kids because things change in life and the only person constant in my own life is going to be me. My Mom loves the movie too but she just didn't want to change her way of life though. Here is the song that touched my soul from the movie:

Give me hugs (Mitr My Friend)

Give me hugs
Give me smiles
Give me love
All the time
Give me strength
When its rough
On this road of life and love

Life does get to me
When I am feeling weak
I found in you a miracle cure
For every hurt that I ever feel
Heavens sent you down just for me
An angel that I only can see
In others eyes you will just seem
An ordinary friend who will
Give me hugs
Give me smiles

Give me wings
When I am down
To fly away to the sun

I wish I can be what you mean to me
A friend you need in any moment
Loneliness won't set you free

I always feel you in my breath
See you a special gift to me
In others eyes you will just seem
An ordinary friend who will
Give me hugs
Give me smiles

May be I will find you in my mother
Or the guy who keeps on sending me those flowers
Valentine's just around the corner
May that's the day we'll find each other

But I know that it is you
Where to find the friend who will
Give me hugs
Give me smiles

A song from the Indian movie in English: 'Mitr, My friend'

1 comment:

D said...

Thank you... and do keep writing more about me :P